[Sacramento, CA]  Delta and Dawn, the wayward mother and calf Humpback whales who famously found themselves wandering inland on the Sacramento River, were finally escorted to the Pacific Ocean on Wednesday - only to be harvested by an Alaskan whaling team the moment they reached international waters.

Onlookers in nearby boats gasped in horror as the crew of the "Ice Hunter IV" maneuvered between U.S. Coast Guard escorts and quickly harpooned Dawn, the younger of the two mammals, killing her instantly.  They turned to fire a second shot at Delta, striking her just behind her dorsal fin. 

Before Coast Guard vessels could respond, the whalers brought the larger whale in close enough for a crewman to finish her with a hand-thrown spear.  It was all over in less than two minutes.  Oddly, the Ice Hunter IV was only one of 8 whalers hiding just outside the channel, apparently waiting for the pair to make it into the Pacific Ocean.

Premeditated Murder... for Ratings! 

"It's tragic, inhuman, and despicable.  Unfortunately, though, it's not criminal," Captain Wendy Carmichael-Jensen of the U.S. Coast Guard said.  "Believe me, if we could charge them with murder, we certainly would.  These beautiful creatures did nothing to deserve this."

There are those who disagree.  Manny Gardez, for instance, believes the killings make an spectacular climax to what has been a thrilling two-week reality TV program. Gardez is the creator/producer of a show entitled, "Who Wants to Harpoon the World's Most Famous Whales?". 

With the final footage now filmed, Gardez is shopping the project to the major networks, while his business partners move the show into post-production.

"There couldn't have been a more exciting outcome," he says enthusiastically.  "We've had weeks of buildup in worldwide media.  Folks are emotionally invested in these characters.  And like it or not, disgusted or enthralled, people are going to be drawn to this like no other reality-based program."

"I'll bet we can even beat 'Ugly Betty'."

Captain Carmichael-Jensen vows to put the Kibosh on the show.

"I can assure you, that the Federal Government will bring whatever resources are necessary to bear on this situation.  This filth should not be aired," she said.  "Further, I cannot imagine any network buying this."

She adds, "But, then, 'Desperate Housewives' does fairly well, so you can never tell."

"We'll be seen."  Manny Gardez responds, "If we don't get on at the networks, it'll end up on pay cable.  America has shown a voracious appetite for this type of programming.  Three weeks of prep, competing boats, emotional confrontations, and an ending as exhilarating as this... it'll sell."