[Washington, DC] As Cosmonauts place their country's flag in orbit around the Earth, claiming outer space as Russian territory, the Bush administration calls a halt to all travel outside the upper atmosphere until the United States reaches a usage agreement with the Kremlin.

"The Russians are our partners in the International Space Station," the President said at a hastily-called press conference in the Rose Garden this morning.  "we must respect their sovereignty and their claim.  We must begin the healing process and build a coalition in space, or else the terrorists win."

The communications buoy, orbiting the earth and trailing a large Russian flag on copper cables behind it, was designed and built by Crane Orbital Technologies of Austin, Texas - which is, according to Official News Agency sources, a subsidiary of Halliburton Energy Services.  Commissioned in 2005 by the Russian Space Agency, the satellite is powered by a tiny nuclear core meant to last over 150 years. 

Dubbed the "Izzard Mark 2", the small, cylindrical vehicle was named in honor of famed British historian Edward James Izzard, who often spoke at length on the age old practice of conquering lands and territories "through the cunning use of flags."

Vladimir Putin, current Russian President, is scheduled to meet with the UN Security council on Thursday to discuss monetary compensation for satellites already orbiting Earth.  Additionally, he is expected to declare the area a "no-fly" zone until the issue of the United States missile defense program is resolved.

Nancy Pelosi, US Speaker of the House of Representatives, exclaimed, "This is a perfect example of why we need to get out of Iraq!"